Joy of Torkom — A Tribute to My Father

By Gita Saraydarian

My father passed away on January 5th, 1997. I naturally grieved. The huge waves of the ocean were constantly crashing over me, engulfing me in pain and memories and lost opportunities. It seems that we remember all that we wanted to do and needed to do only after someone is out of our lives.

But, slowly, something else began to happen. I don’t know when that happened exactly; it seems to have sneaked up on me. I became conscious of a different kind of ocean waves. I observed the waves of pain would not come crashing on me, but rather would crash somewhere near me. Slowly, the waves were not crashing around me even. Then the waves changed even more and I observed that my memories of my father and his work were now waves of warmth and tenderness. Then I noticed the waves were inspiring and uplifting and I learned how to float on them and look up at the sky and see the vastness of the universe. I learned how to float in the same waves that used to crash on me.

It is now a joy to remember my father. On the occasion of his passing into the light of the Higher Worlds, I offer this poem from his collection of poems.

Joy of Existence

You will never,
Never have
Full and complete
Enjoyment of life
Until your soul expands
Into the hearts
Of each living human being
And each form;
Until you begin to love the stars
And think of them as travelers on the Path
Ahead of you
By millions and millions of years.

You will never have
Complete and full joy
As long as you take the joy of life from others,
As long as you obscure their Sun
And work against their expansion, beauty, and freedom.

What you do for others you do for yourself.
Your joy of life will increase
When you increase the amount of joy you give to others,
When you begin to live for all,
For all that exists.
Your joy in life will always have periods of pain
And suffering and tears until you find the way
To stand within the Tower of your True Self
And within the boundary of the boundless Self.

Daily, spread the wings of your soul
And embrace all that exists with real, deep love
Until one day you feel the tears in your eyes
Of love,
Until your love pulls you out from the cave of your life
And takes you there where you can fuse
With the Self of the Universe.

One thing you must know —
Above everything
You are a drop
Of bliss in the ocean of the Divine Presence.
But this bliss can be tasted and enjoyed only
When you give it to others.

Radiate joy and bliss
Through your thoughts,
Words, and actions
To sense the joy
Of Existence.

Reprinted from Torkom Saraydarian's book of poetry, From My Heart, Volume I, p. 411.)

Gita