Gita's Blog

By Gita Saraydarian

“....loneliness creates an atmosphere of contact.” (Psyche and Psychism, Torkom Saraydarian, p. 957)

The YouTube excerpt below is a short clip from the lecture on Contact given at the Wesak Conference earlier this month (May, 2009). Since the process of contact is the theme of the Wesak celebration, I wanted to write my thoughts about the process of loneliness and contact.




In the Ancient Wisdom tradition, meditation, worship, observation, purification and other disciplines of the physical, emotional, and mental bodies are tools to enable us to make contact. Contact means to communicate with and to receive impressions from a higher level of consciousness. That consciousness can be from our own inner wisdom or in the form of our Guardian Angel, saints or other Great Ones, ideas and visions and expansive thoughtforms, or direct communications with the Higher Worlds. The objective of high level contact is to learn about higher ideas and visions, find solutions to the impasse in our lives, and to be able to express these findings in our field of service so that everyone is uplifted around us. Humanity benefits hugely from men and women who are able to articulate high level contacts in their fields of work.

What kind of contact and how these contacts are translated depends on our approach. Emptying ourselves from the “noises” of our life is a precondition or necessary aspect of making a high level contact and being able to translate it into useful and conscious decisions. High level contact and the translation of that contact through the senses of universality, right direction, and synthesis help us proceed on the path of conscious evolution and conscious adaptation.

What is that “loneliness” that Great Ones and spiritual traditions have spoken about?

In my experience, loneliness means to be isolated physically, emotionally, and mentally from all external as well as internal patterns that distract us from our essence. To become our True Self, and to express this genuine being in our daily life as well as see the True Self in others is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and to the world.

In our everyday busy lives, we are seldom quiet and we do not like the feeling of loneliness. Being lonely makes us sad and uncomfortable, so we try to fill that space with people, activities, and all kinds of noise. We give ourselves too much to do, we keep our children moving and making appointments for play dates, we are continuously hooked onto the computer and cellphones, we cannot stand not to talk to someone or be with someone. We do not want to be quiet and empty; we fear it.

I notice a man taking a brisk walk in the morning all the while speaking on his cell phone! A woman is taking time out to have her nails done, and she is talking loudly on the cellphone; no one in the salon can relax and have a brief time of relaxation and quiet. Two women are walking holding their toddlers and one of the children is holding a cellphone to his ear talking! I have a lunch appointment with a friend and she has to answer the cellphone during our visit. We go to hear a lecture and do not hear it nor listen to it; we are too busy with a problem circulating in our mind. Everything we hear and experience is colored by that one issue, one problem. We cannot let go even for a minute. It goes on and on in every part of our life. We cannot stand to “waste one minute” of time: so we eat at our desks, we are on the cell phone while we drive and walk and exercise, we constantly stuff ourselves with news, articles, and information. We want to fill every minute with multiple activities. Even at work, we must “catch” the news, check online, watch that video, and we are so proud of our abilities to do multiple tasks and do not realize the damage we do to our spiritual life. We are crazed and have no clue that we are.

The result is increased stress and strain and the inability to be focused and careful and make an internal connection that is the most essential part of our life. Then, in a rare moment when we feel sadness, pain, or loneliness, we feel anxious and threatened and don't know what to do with this strange feeling. This problem is widespread and is not limited to the average public. We are often reminded to turn off our cell phones when we enter a church or place of worship! I am always amused at the speed in which the Lord's Prayer is said in rapid fire rhythm; quick, quick, quick and get it over with!

Yet, when we embark on a serious spiritual path, the first step we must learn is to quiet ourselves and learn to practice quiet meditation, quiet and deliberate prayer; we must learn the art and science of loneliness and emptying of ourselves from the non-essential. This is the most difficult part of serious spiritual practice. We often try not to do this and go around it as much as possible, avoiding it with spiritual noise as well as mundane noise. We will do anything not to face the emptiness and loneliness that is really our friend and our most important teacher.

In this above quote there is a profound meaning: become empty of physical noise, emotional patterns, mental patterns and go outside of these and try to find a deeper level of silence. In that silence, we could begin to hear the most essential path for our life. In trying to find solutions to our problems, to find creative ways of solving life issues, we can try to be silent and quiet and even lonely. It is in the true lonely feeling that we can finally meet with our true being, our essence, and our direction in life.

Being lonely is hard work! I know how this feels. I know the feeling inside of me when I experience it. At first, it is like a sickening feeling that does not go away; a rock inside of me that pushes me. Then, if I persist, it becomes a feeling of understanding, opening, linking, and appreciating a broader part of life that I did not see before. My heart opens and relaxes and a flood of understanding envelopes me. My sadness may not go away; I understand this and appreciate it. But my deeper realization is there and makes my decisions better. If we can maintain our poise and observe during times of loneliness, we can fill our hearts with the love and joy of the universe and realize that connection and understanding and be able to express that deep smile of knowing.

There is no short-cut. In order to find the healing, the solutions, the answers to my prayers, I have to get to a point of serious reckoning; I have to feel lonely and then I start to reach for the answers that really matter. I look outside and inside, beyond the noise and the expectations, and in that loneliness, I connect.

If we approach the idea of contact with the noise of our bodies circulating inside our mind, we will not be able to hear or understand what we should hear. We get from any experience whatever we approach it with. Our patterns, our expectations, our desires will always color our contact. In this very simple quote is a most profound discipline to help us make the greatest contact that we can reach to, and to be able to bring from that contact the deepest truth that we can understand and articulate.

I wish for you a renewed contact with your Essential Self, with the most profound meaning in your life. As we face the impasse in our lives, moments of quiet are the best ways to find the true causes and the real solutions.

Gita
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References and additional information:

-The lecture Contact is available on CD and download and DVD.
-Gita Saraydarian is the Founder and President of TSG Foundation, and TSG University spiritual training center, an organization dedicated to the Ageless Wisdom Teachings.
-See the complete list of Gita's blogs.
-For upcoming events and seminars, please see here for U.S. and International events.
-See YouTube to subscribe to the video clips from Torkom Saraydarian and Gita.
-Subscribe to the newsletter Outreach for continued updates and articles from TSG.

Copyright Notice: Gita’s Blog articles are copyrighted by The Creative Trust, 2009.

By Gita Saraydarian

The best example in my life of an educated person is my 84 year-old Mother. I have never written at length about my mother, but as Mother's Day approaches, it is time to tell her how I see her.

My Mother finished high school in Jordan and she got married at age 17. She had four children before she was 30 and had her fifth child in her late 30's. She raised well adjusted, educated, and talented persons.

My parents were divorced when Mom was in her early 40's and she never married again. She leaped headlong into making her business thrive (making and selling bridal gowns and formal wear), pay for her children's college education, and keep herself financially afloat in the most trying circumstances.

At age 50, while she still maintained her business and support of her children's education, she enrolled in a Community College. She took all the needed courses to complete the two year general education program. As a business owner she had good English language skills. Yet, she had great difficulty taking notes in English. She listened to lectures in English, wrote the lecture notes in Armenian; studied texts in English, took notes in Armenian. Then she would write her papers and exams in Armenian and translate them into English! She earned high grades and the accolades of all her teachers for her depth and understanding. She would then give parties and invite her teachers to our home to have serious discussions about culture, anthropology, history, language, food, and philosophy. They all agreed that Elizabeth already knew the subjects she was studying, especially in the humanities; attending classes was a mere formality.

When people came to our home for a dinner party (there would at times be up to 75 people in our living room) they were treated to gourmet Armenian and Middle Eastern foods, culture, music and dancing. We usually made new, gorgeous dresses to wear to the party. We, the ladies of the house, (my Mom, sister, and myself) were the center of attention as we moved around in beautiful dresses serving and talking and mixing great food with great cultural experiences. My Mom cooked for two days before the party and we cleaned and put things back into their places for two days following the party.

She graduated from Community College and then attended a local University for one semester. Due to lack of funds, she stopped going to college, much to her disappointment! She wanted to get a degree in psychology and I know it would have been fantastic if she could have. At the time, we had so little money and all the children were in school and their needs came first. Now, when I think back, I wish we could have been awake enough and conscious enough to see this desire in our Mother and helped her to finish school. We should have done that for her; a deep regret indeed for me.

My Mother is educated not because she is a college graduate, but because she is a graduate from what I call “The University of Life.” My Mother never stopped reading and studying and being curious about life in its many facets and its many fields. A few years ago she was reading the Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and she told me that I also had to read it once again (I had done so in my history class in college and did not remember much of it) and really understand the psychology in it. Then, we would be able to discuss it. So, I read it carefully this time and we had some very deep discussions about politics and the fragile human condition. She felt that it is important to understand the ways in which human beings succumb to totalitarianism and fascism and find there is relevance for this understanding in our life today.

She has always read serious books on history, politics, art, philosophy, ethics and religion of all nations, and anything that helps her understand life around her. She is well versed in European, Armenian, and Asian and Middle Eastern history and is keenly interested in world politics. She subscribes to several newspapers and magazines. Every time I see her, she updates me on the latest issues facing our country and the world.

She also reads novels both in Armenian and in English. Mention any major folk tale or biblical story (she has read the entire Bible, Old and New Testaments, seven times and can provide an esoteric explanation of any part of it), or any mythical figure or story from Greek, Roman, Armenian, and Middle Eastern fables and stories. She knows the story in several versions and will also tell you what its symbolic meaning is in its many complexities.

She is also knits woolen clothes for all of us without looking at her work (as she reads or watches TV; not just simple knitting but complex patterns and styles), embroiders the most intricate lace and needle work that is museum quality, is an expert tailor and seamstress and clothes designer; she loves music of any kind, poetry, and singing and has a huge music and video collection. She is an avid gardener and is passionate about her trees and plants. Now that she lives in the desert, she is ever watchful of the many “critters” that inhabit the area; plants and trees need vigilance to survive. Nesting birds find a friend in her and when they lay their eggs in her flower pots, she is so careful not to scare the birds and spoil their nests.

She has been a serious meditator since she was 18 and has a deep appreciation and understanding of the Ageless Wisdom Teachings. She is very sensitive psychically, although she would be upset if she knew I mention this. I do note this only for one reason; she is real, not the fake kind. She almost never talks about it; never preaches about religion (in fact she abhors the fake religiosity), never preaches about the Teachings, never talks karma, cosmic consciousness, or such topics that many spiritual people toss around like popcorn at the movies! She has a deep reverence of religion, great religious figures, the spiritual traditions of all nations and she does not talk about them and toss them around vacuously in her conversations. She never interferes with the karma and life of others and when asked for advice, she will mostly let you figure it out for yourself. If I ask her directly about something, she always knows I was going to ask her and she gives me such radical advice that I just look at her and wonder in silence, “how modern and real you are!”

She is passionate about the political events in the world. Once she noticed that her blood pressure was too high as she worried and worried about politics in the Middle East. We in turn worried about her and she knew that she had to do something to address the reasons behind her feelings. Next time I saw her, she looked very calm and philosophical and somehow “distant.” I asked what was on her mind, and she told me that she finally realized through her inner work the karmic problems that all countries are facing. She said human beings will continue to “eat each other” until a time comes when they finally grow up and realize the error of their ways. Until then, we will continue to see the senseless bloodshed and misery in the world. She said karma brings conditions back again and again until we all stop killing, hating, and exploiting others for our own personal or national good. Before change can take place, human beings needed to become human and to finally destroy their ego and vanity and selfishness. She related that she was able to comprehend the sad human condition through inner experiences and that we truly need to understand even politics from the inner perspective if we are to understand the entire evolutionary process of humanity. It was life-changing for her and helped her maintain her joy and not succumb to cynicism and sadness.

Mom comes from the real school of spirituality: no boasting of your inner experiences; these are experiences for you alone and provided for your growth and not for showing off.

One day not too long ago, she and I were chatting on the phone about some simple things and she changed the subject and she said to me: “Stop wasting your emotional capitol; you will need it when you get older.” Well, that was timely! I had been deeply worried about various things in my life and was wasting a lot of emotional energy on them. Her simple words opened a new layer of understanding for me.

I see as I observe Mom that the things that matter to her now are the things that really matter: her health and mental balance, her emotional capitol so she can deal with life. Knowing that she has done her best with her children and their life is now their own. She still cares and stays in touch with us. She also understands that we are souls given to her to guide and grow and nurture. She said she always knew how many children she would have and how they would grow up and what they will become. Mothers know their children are gifts and they are the caretakers. They know this and as they let go, there is a grieving process as well as a freeing process; it takes emotional energy to shift the focus.

And, as she continues to grow and expand, she is cooking up a storm to serve our final luncheon after our Wesak Conference. Mom has cooked and served our Wesak luncheon every year for the last five years. I asked her, “Mom, what are you making for us and what are you serving?” She said playfully, “None of your business; just do what you have to do and leave the food to me!” OK. I will do that. I get it!

Today, as I am getting ready for Wesak and our conference coming up, I wanted to share these thoughts with all of you, with the whole world, to show us how our Mothers shape us and imprint us deeply. I want to wish my Mother a happy Mother's Day. To every Mother who has suffered and raised children, may you be blessed by the Divine Mother of all. And, for women everywhere, with or without children, be yourself and be the best woman you can be. Be in your strength, glory, and sensitivity; there is nothing like you and no one can take your place.

What is an educated person? My Mother gave me the best example: it is a person who engages in life inwardly and outwardly and grows to appreciate the essentials in life as life unfolds itself.

I reflect on all the gifts my Mom has given me and made me who I am. She is in me. As I move forward, I do so with her in my heart and soul forever. I hope the lessons she has bestowed on me are carried forward and can be the same path of joy and enthusiasm for others as they have been and continue to be for me.

Gita

-Gita Saraydarian is the Founder and President of TSG Foundation, an organization dedicated to the Ageless Wisdom Teachings. See the complete list of past blogs and other writings on this link.
-Copyright Notice: Gita’s Blog articles are copyrighted by The Creative Trust, 2009.