Gita's Blog

• The more people you are sitting with, the less you must speak. That is Gita's really important rule. Every person needs a chance to speak and express themselves. So if there are two persons, you get 50%. If three persons, you get only 30% speaking time, and so on. This is for the entire evening and not just for each comment. It is unkind and egotistical to hold the floor constantly. Everyone has something to say, so shut the mouth, eat something, drink something, and just listen. And, when you say something, just say one thing and not the entire string of related items. Respond to what is being discussed and don't change the subject to suit your needs. What should you do when you are not speaking? Listen, observe, be interested in what and how others are communicating. Other people are really interesting!
• Don't give too much detail. It is called “too much information”; please, I can't hold all those threads in my mind. When I hear a string of different topics spill out in one statement, I want to say, “wait, let me write this down so I can remember.” Or, “Which one do you want me to respond to? Do you want me to respond at all? Do you really care what I think?” On the other hand, don't be a one word conversationalist either. “How are you?” “Fine.” “How is your work?” “Good.” ....
  

Unless you want to be a lonely old man or woman, conversing only with yourself and there is no one who wants to listen to you, find a way to become a better conversationalist. Be interested in people and what they do and how they live. Learn to communicate no matter where you are and with whom you are spending time. But please, if you are sitting in an airplane, this is not the time to start a conversation with someone sitting next to you, so please keep it quiet. According to me, there is no need to have a detailed conversation with anyone that you do not know unless it is about the business you are conducting or you are invited to sit with them and communicate with them. And, even then, make sure they really want to know about what you have to say.

So assuming you have been invited to spend time with others, it is good to brush up on effective communication skills. What then is effective communication? It is an exchange of ideas, thoughts, events, that everyone finds interesting and everyone is engaged. There is give AND take; that is the key.

Whether you are conversing with your loved ones, your co-workers, your children, chit chat with a friend over lunch, or professional communications of all sorts, the key is to remember the concept of dialog. If we remember that we are speaking with someone, and not to an empty space or simply trees and birds (although they listen too), we will remind ourselves that the other person we are speaking to has to listen to us, or at least look like he is listening to us, and we need to know if we are really engaged with that person or we lost him? We need to check in continuously by looking at the person and seeing if they are just being polite, or are they really interested in what we are saying.

As I related in my last blog post, I have not written for over three months. What prompted me to start writing again?

Let me relate a brief conversation that I just had that compelled me to finally walk over to my computer and start a new file in my blog.

A gentleman called the office and in a very strong and velvety and commanding voice asked to speak to me. So, I picked up the phone. He said: “I know it is a rotten economy, life is hard, business is down...” and I am thinking, so why am I listening to this person as he pulls me down the well of his ignorance and negativity? And, I kept listening.... “and you probably like to be doing something really different at this time, don't you?”

Well, I thought, Hawaii is not a bad idea just about now...water, really, any body of water....“No, I would not,” I said. “Do you even know what it is that we do here?” I asked.

It has been a long time since I wrote a blog. Life has been full.
Where have I been all these months? Someone wrote and asked, “Gita, are you OK? Have not heard from you....”

For those of you who thought that perhaps I fell off the side of the planet, well, I am still here, working too much and trying to get too much done in any given day. I have enough work here for at least another three people like me. I am well and fine and have had a busy and very interesting few months.

Here is a quick look at what has been going on here:

• I launched Torkom's Blog in February and it is proving popular and a beautiful way to share some of his writings. I really like the way it looks so I wanted to update the look of my blog too...so started working on it. Also, the Spanish version of Torkom's Blog is now being prepared...coming soon.
• I started to do the first reading of Torkom's Autobiography, which is more of a diary, and I was riveted and moved in ways that I cannot explain. It got me to thinking that I need to start recording my life experiences. I could see through his eyes how a person grows and matures and makes the decisions in life that lead to the vision and purpose of life. I began to see the thread that unites all our life experiences and began to understand why I am so committed to this work and what really drives me. I started to see the linking threads of my life. The most interesting parts were his travel diaries and how he viewed the people and the life around him as he flew to Argentina, Brazil, South Africa, Europe, and back to the US. He observed everything and held everyone in his compassionate heart but also kept his vigilance and discipline. I started also to think, what happens to me when I travel, meet new people, give lectures and relate in new environments? I do keep a travel diary, but never look at it once I arrive back to the office. It is so interesting to note that when we read inspiring and deeply charged books, they open doors deep into our own consciousness. I suppose that is why we are so drawn to great writings.