Monday, March 31, 2014

12 - A Mother’s Kiss

It is a simple card from a mother for her daughter’s birthday; it held my heart.

We do not have a “kissy-wissy-lovy-dovy” mother daughter kind of relationship, but we treat each other with respect and understanding. My mother is a mature woman of 89 years old and is very much alert and strong in every way.

She came to our home for a birthday dinner that I decided to cook for the immediate family, simple but elegant and she was quiet and subdued and sat next to me at the table, continuously raising her glass to me. We were both drinking apple cider, but nevertheless, saluting each other and saying happy birthday. She was saying this in such an unusual manner that I did not really understand at first. It was tender, soft, like a wink and “just as girls” kind of saying. Then I opened her card and I had to hold back a huge welling of tears for just the few words she had written in my card.

We had just been talking among ourselves the virtues of writing cards vs. emails vs. text messages and I was saying that we are forgetting to express ourselves in deeply meaningful ways, connecting with people in our rush, rush ways that we communicate. We just say the little sound bites and do not get the emotions that a writer puts into the written form and so on.

Case in point, my mom wrote in her inimical handwriting… “Happy birthday daughter. When you were first born, the clock of the Arabic military depot struck six o’clock and I planted a kiss on your cheek. That kiss is still there every time I look at you!” Every time she would look at me that evening, she would look at me with her tender eyes, now framed with glasses, puffiness, and circles under her eyes, the eyes of an 89 year old as she looked at the cheeks of her maturing daughter. How moving it was to read these words. My eyes are obscured from tears as I write this, that a mom, so many years later, remembers that first kiss planted on a newborn baby’s cheek. It really touched me. I will treasure that card forever and never forget the huge love and tenderness that is contained in these few, simple words.

My mom is very special, and I am sad to think that someday she will have to depart from us. She is happy about this possibility because she feels she has done her duties with her five children and now she needs freedom in the higher worlds and has future lives to think about with more robust and strong bodies. She wants freedom to go to school, work, become a professional and serve her country in deeply meaningful ways. She is ready to come back and continue after a brand new body is taken.

I understand this theoretically; when it is time, we go and we need to go knowingly what is in store for us in the higher worlds. Mom already knows. She has scores settled, duties done, responsibilities carried out to the best, trees planted, roses pruned, food cooked, for years and years and years.

It took me a total of 13 ½ hours to cook, iron linen, set the table, serve, eat, entertain, then clean-up for one small dinner party. Mom used to do this for all of us regularly and still find time to entertain friends and school friends and also worked full time running a bridal shop. She had more strength and determination than I do, that is for sure. She did not go for simple dishes either, but complicated Armenian dishes that took two or more days to prepare, let alone clean up!

Recently I heard that my paternal aunt, the oldest surviving relative, just passed away at the age of about 103 (we guess) in Istanbul. Aunt Araxi was a trooper, loved by all the cousins. She never married, never had children, and devoted her time to support her parents. I saw her twice in Istanbul and found her a delightful lady. She told me stories, and sang songs that she and her brother (my father, Torkom for the rest of the world) used to sing. She was a violinist, a dental assistant, a first class lace maker, and much more. May her soul rest in the true Divine Light. Her sister, Angel, my youngest paternal aunt is still living in Istanbul, and I do not how this shock is going to affect her.
What happens to us? We get old and then we die.

Before that happens to me too, I have much yet to do. I have great family and friends and loved ones. I have also dreams that someday I will complete the publishing of books by Torkom and when that is almost done, in a few years, I will begin to plan for building a center for Esoteric Learning. This will be a place where serious and deeply committed persons come to study, learn, and train themselves in the process of critical thinking in light of Esoteric Science. Through this sort of training, we can develop a group of people from all around the world who will be able to teach and spread the esoteric sciences. I want to develop a peaceful place where deep thinking is encouraged and developed and cultivated.

We all have much to do. We all have dreams and plans in life. We have responsibilities. At every step of our path, we come to decisive moments that change our life forever. We make many little choices every day, every day taking a path that we never know where it will lead us. We each have to dedicate ourselves to our passion and never let it leave us. You will not get all that you want in life, but you will always have that little, first kiss planted on your baby cheek by the most loving person in your life. People have come and gone in my life, but my Mom has always had that love for me, from the moment I was born. What else can one ask for?

Do you have a passion for which you dedicate your life? Do you know anyone with a noble plan? Help them achieve their goals. Give the love that lasts and lasts, forever.

Plant a kiss on a project and no matter how much time goes by, remember that first kiss and keep up your tender love for that ideal.

I will keep and treasure that first, tender, motherly love and with that love, I will pass on that tenderness to my baby, the esoteric center of learning for TSG. And, I will keep and treasure the beautiful card from my Mom.

I never did have my own children, but I am happy to say that a mother’s kiss turned into an esoteric center! At least I can pass that on to you and to many others who come after me.

Gita Saraydarian is the Founder and President of TSG Foundation. For events, classes and services, please visit our website


Idna Wudtke said...

Dear Gita, thank you for sharing this moving story. The love and joy is radiating from every letter you have shared with us.

Yes, what a wonderful newborn this is - the vision of an esoteric learning center. May this precious baby has a great family all overt the world - many aunts and oncles, close friends and loved ones which will help him to grow and unfold himself, to radiate joy and bliss and give inspiration for new ways and possibilities to bring peace and universal life to the mankind.


Anonymous said...

My heart was touched by your blog. My mother is also 89. I forwarded it on to others I know will appreciate your sentiments.
Much Love,

Anonymous said...

How beautiful and personal – and universally relevant!

Anonymous said...

Oh Gita, this is so beautiful. I want to help raise your “baby vision”!

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Gita Saraydarian
Founder and President of TSG Foundation, home of Torkom Saraydarian's creative works.
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